In the 1987 film Wings of Desire by filmmaker Wim Wenders, angels watch over mortals in the city of Berlin. An angel named Damiel falls in love with a female trapeze artist. Eventually, he decides to give up his immortality to be with the woman he loves.
The first scene of the movie is the recounting of a poem titled “When the Child Was a Child” by Peter Handke. Wenders, through the character of Damiel, wants us to remember how, as children, we were unfettered by duties and obligations, not always focused on plans and goals. He is also asking us to consider what it means to be mortal, alone among many, what it means to savor the experiences of everyday life: what it means to be alive.
“When the child was a child, it was the time of these questions. Why am I me, and why not you? Why am I here, and why not there? When did time begin, and where does space end? Isn’t life under the sun just a dream? Isn’t what I see, hear, and smell just the mirage of a world before the world? Does evil actually exist, and are there people who are really evil? How can it be that I, who am I, wasn’t before I was, and that sometime I, the one I am, no longer will be the one I am?”
Lately, I’ve been wondering at the circumstances that came together to make me who I am, where I am, how I think and behave. Some say the circumstances we find ourselves in is due to both karma — past deeds and intentions, whether in this life or a previous one — and to intentions.
What is an intention?
To intend is to set off, to start, to take a path in life. Often, our paths become confusing, and we worry about the outcomes of our decisions, where they will lead us, and when we will see the results of our endeavors. We lose the capacity to feel grateful for where we are now.
But when you were a child, you were able to simply be curious, ask questions, experiment, play, and stay open to possibilities.
Although we need to be thankful everyday, many people consider Thanksgiving a special time to have gratitude for our blessings.
Personally, I’m grateful for many things, and now I want to use that gratitude to not only appreciate where I am now, but to remember to let go of that ‘wanting mind,’ and stay curious about what led me to this point in my life. Like the child in the poem, I’m wondering, “Why am I here and not there?” I used to want answers for everything, but now I want only to stay open to what comes next without overthinking or worrying. Some call this mindfulness.
Mindfulness leads to greater awareness, awareness leads to creativity, and creativity leads to transformation into an ever evolving version of what it means to be ‘me.’
As the saying goes, ‘I am an ever changing work in progress.’
It’s been my experience that when my intentions are positive, mysterious and unexpected events occur. I don’t need to know what’s going to happen, I just want to wonder at the miracle that brought me to where I am now, and focus on each day as it arrives, do the best I can, and patiently observe what happens. Transformation is taking place all the time.
The poet Rilke, in his book Letters to a Young Poet, says:
“Everything is gestation and then bringing forth. To let each impression and each germ of a feeling come to completion wholly in itself, in the dark, in the expressible, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one’s own intelligence, and await with deep humility and patience the birth-hour of a new clarity: that alone is living the artist’s life; in understanding as in creating.”
