March 2021
We are always in a state of change, moment to moment. But sometimes change happens in a more radical way. COVID has altered all of our lives. Many have lost loved ones and many have suffered from the illness. It may have interrupted our work and projects. But we are more than what we do.
I thought I would never contract COVID, as I went only to the store and always with a mask, never gathered with people, and stayed alone for almost a year. But no matter how many vitamins we take or exercises we do, there are no guarantees. We are fragile beings and as well as we care for ourselves, we never know what might happen. Unpredictable events can interrupt our well laid plans.
After a month of illness, and another recuperating, I have learned some things about illness–and life–that might serve as helpful reminders for us all:
Life can change at any moment.
You can plan for the future, but these plans can fall away suddenly. Life happens one day at a time. The only time we exist is now. Past and future are only thoughts. So as you plan and work on projects, stay focused on today.
If you get sick your self image won’t help you and neither will ideas about the future.
Your successes and failures won’t matter, and reaching for the next moment will be of no use. If you have been training in presence through meditation or in other ways, your practice will become invaluable and will help you to heal. Stay grounded now. As you work toward your goals, let your life unfold moment to moment. Don’t be attached to outcomes, just steadily do what you know to be right.
Patience is an antidote to grasping.
Many of us want to constantly be ‘doing’ something, working on projects of one kind or another, and I am no different. But sickness makes us stop and we must wait to heal on the body’s timeline. We can help by letting go of thinking we can control how long this will take. This also is true for goals we set.
The world’s values are often upside down.
Celebrity, fame, awards, being praised are nice and we may want some of these. There are those people we admire who have attained a certain position or accomplished something of value. But when we are sick we realize that doctors, nurses, attendants, people who take out the garbage, deliver food, clean and do all those other things without which we wouldn’t survive, are truly the ones of greatest value in this world, and the least acknowledged. They don’t talk about their accomplishments on social media.Self-care is essential.Physical self-care is vital, but mental self-care is essential too: self-criticism or comparing oneself to others is poison. Every life is of value. We are all temporary expressions of the one presence. As we work toward our goals, we must accept ourselves with compassion and love, whatever the outcome.
We are dependent on others.
When the body breaks down, we may need others to care for us. Often, we may forget that our very existence is interdependent. The coffee we drink, the clothes we wear, the clean water we drink, the education we receive—are available only because others work to make them so. When we succeed at something, it’s important to remember we couldn’t have done it alone.
We should, whenever possible, do what we love, find work that has meaning and purpose, and continue along our own unfolding path.But our primary job is to live with self-compassion. We all need to accept ourselves just as we are. Whatever happens, we are good enough because we are alive. We are here for a reason whether we know what it is or not, and everyone is of value.
“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.”—Anais Nin