Trauma is a word heard frequently these days. Some say it is overused and debate the true definition, claiming the word should only be used for those who have suffered severe trauma in situations such as war, famine, and sexual assault.

But not all trauma begins with a capital T. Instead, trauma can be considered to exist along a spectrum.

Dr. Gabor Mate, author of The Myth of Normal, states, “In a society that constantly tells you you’re not good enough, the very values of that society are traumatizing…we exist on a spectrum of woundedness.”

We are all wounded in some way, even if we don’t fall into an extreme category.

As Ralph de la Rosa, author of Outshining Trauma: A New Vision of Radical Self-Compassion, writes: “Our brains don’t respond to actualities, but to perceptions.”

Trauma is more than what happened to us. It’s about our subjective experience.

De la Rosa defines trauma as: “any adverse experience in which our defense mechanisms are mobilized but rendered useless for any reason.” Many of us certainly carry trauma in our minds, bodies, and emotions.

When we are children and experience rejection, humiliation, lack of connection with our caretakers, or any other kind of distress, we develop defense mechanisms. These parts are like guardians who protect us from feeling the hurt that our small selves cannot tolerate.

These hurts go into hiding and continue to inflict damage causing physical, mental, and emotional suffering years later. When something triggers them, they appear as symptoms, destructive thoughts, and inappropriate behaviors.

Mindfulness and Compassion

These unresolved hurts can prevent us from being who we wish to be, doing what we want, and reaching our goals.

However, when these hurts appear in our lives again, instead of allowing them to run our lives, we can do something different–we can allow them space, listen to their messages, and offer them compassion.

Our job is to recognize these hidden parts with mindfulness, allow them to resurface, and give them space. We need to offer them our compassion.

Then, the energy of the part holding us back and continuing to inflict harm, thinking it is protecting us, will begin to change and act as an ally rather than a foe.

We will give ourselves the love and approval that we didn’t receive when we were growing up.

Underneath the parts trying to keep the pain hidden and protected, our basic, true nature is pure and untouched.

That basic nature has the qualities of courage, compassion, curiosity, creativity, calm, clarity, and confidence.

When we can tune in to our bodily sensations and turn mindfully and compassionately toward the hurt parts, we can shift the dynamic and change the course of our lives.

Meditation

Take a few moments to relax and close your eyes. Gently sense inside your body for any tightness or tension. Watch your thoughts and your emotions. Whatever seems to call your attention, bring your focus there and notice it, welcome it, and bring a non-judgmental awareness to it. You might breathe into it or see if it has a message.

Writing

You may uncover a memory, have an insight, or experience a physical or emotional release.

Write down your experience and any shifts you noticed.

“We have endless opportunities to get bruised by life and then to strengthen in our recovery from it all.” –Ralph de la Rosa